• Erectile Dysfunction
  • Erectile Dysfunction

The insecurity of erection problems

Written by: Editors

Modified on: 

An erection that never comes. It’s a common problem, and an unnecessary taboo. When we experience erection problems, also known as erectile dysfunction (ED), we tend to think that we are one of just a few sufferers. But that’s not the case. In fact, they affect one in ten men. And there are many known causes. Often, these are in our heads: we keep thinking about our “failure”, and that makes us insecure. Fortunately, there are also many solutions. So there’s no need to be alarmed if you can’t “get it up” once or twice. But if the problem persists, then don’t hesitate to seek help. Below we answer a few frequently asked questions to help you overcome the insecurity and break the taboo.

  • How many men have erectile dysfunction?
  • Why can’t I get an erection anymore?
  • Why don’t I get an erection with a new partner?

1. How many men have erectile dysfunction?

You are not the only man with erectile dysfunction. In the Netherlands alone, 14 per cent suffer from the same problem. But it is not a subject that is easily discussed. Of men aged up to 40, some 5 percent are affected. In the over 70s, it occurs in 42 percent. So it is by no means an old man’s condition. It is never a bad idea to talk about it with your doctor. You can also request a consultation with us.

2. Why can’t I get an erection anymore?

If you can no longer achieve an erection, that may have either physical or psychological causes. Or a combination of the two. If you have a regular partner, talk it over with them. Erectile dysfunction can make you both insecure. So explore the possible causes together.

Physical problems

If your erection problem is related to your physical health, it may not be something you experience on a daily basis. The influence of a good general condition is often underestimated, however. A healthy lifestyle, a healthy weight and reasonable physical fitness are in fact important factors in achieving erections. In particular, take a close look at your eating habits. Are you a healthy eater? Do you smoke? Do you drink alcohol regularly?

There are also other possible physical causes:

  • use of medication;
  • overweight;
  • cardiovascular disease;
  • pain;
  • age.

Psychological problems

An erection problem can also be a psychological phenomenon. Have you been experiencing more stress than usual at work lately? Are there issues in your relationship? Think of quarrels, for example, or feelings you and your partner have not discussed? Take more rest, go away together for a weekend and keep talking about how you feel. Other possible psychological factors:

  • tension;
  • stress;
  • unpleasant experiences;
  • insecurity;
  • fear of failure;
  • high expectations.

Insecurity within your relationship

If insecurity is an issue, be open about that with your partner. Especially when it arises out of relationship problems. Discuss the situation frankly. Both of you can become insecure about a penis which fails to function as expected. Questions you may have on your mind include:

  • Does he or she not find me attractive anymore?
  • Is sex between us no longer exciting enough?
  • What else can I do to arouse my partner?

The questions below can be difficult to ask, but it is important to break the ice. And do not be put off if they are rebuffed at first. They are questions which will sound familiar to a lot of people. Dare to ask them and be open-minded about your partner’s answers.

  • What do you think about during sex?
  • Do you have any unfulfilled fantasies?
  • Are you open to trying new things?

You can also try medication as a way to solve your erection problem. is happy to help you with this. For example, our affiliated pharmacies offer trial packs of erection pills. There are other ways to treat erectile dysfunction, too – you can read more about them here.

Why don't I get an erection with a new partner?

It may take some time to get used to being with a new partner. For example, you may still be thinking about a previous one and have feelings of guilt. If you are recently divorced, you may also feel guilty about your children. Thoughts like that can prevent you achieving an erection. But it is good to talk them over with your new partner. Make sure that they are involved from the start. And if you do consider treatment, whether counselling or some form of medication, make the decision together. Above all, though, make sure that you feel comfortable with the solution chosen. That is the best way to avoid further insecurity.

About is the platform which connects consumers, doctors and pharmacies in order to achieve targeted medical treatment. believes in responsible self-management when it comes to easily treatable complaints.


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Pfizer. (undated). Erectile dysfunction, facts and fables. Consulted on 20/07/2021 at

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